Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Do I matter? Maybe it’s not something you think about consciously, but it’s a question that shapes so much of our lives. It’s there in the way we crave recognition at work, seek connection in our relationships, or feel that pang of loneliness when we think no one notices what we’re going through.
Now flip that question around. How often do you show others that they matter? How often do you look beyond the surface of someone’s life—beyond their job title, their quirks, or their flaws—and let them know they’re valued?
Here’s the thing: We all want to matter, but we rarely stop to consider what that actually means. And sometimes, it takes something—or someone—shaking us awake to realize just how important mattering is.
This brings me to A Christmas Carol. You might think of it as just another holiday tale, but I see it as one of the most profound stories about the spirit of mattering. At its heart, Scrooge’s journey isn’t just about redemption—it’s about rediscovering the value of his life and the lives of those around him.
Scrooge starts off as someone who’s convinced that nothing matters except his money. He’s cut himself off from people, from joy, from purpose. But as he’s forced to confront his past, present, and future, he learns that mattering isn’t about wealth or status—it’s about connection, compassion, and the impact we have on others.
In this article, we’re going to dive into what A Christmas Carol teaches us about mattering. We’ll explore:
- Why it’s so easy to lose sight of our own value—and the value of others.
- How showing someone they matter can transform not just their life, but your own.
- And practical ways to bring the spirit of mattering into your everyday life.
Here’s a question to think about as we begin: If you were visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come, what would they show you about the way you’re living? Would they see someone who knows they matter—or someone who’s forgotten?
Let’s talk about it.
Scrooge’s Story as a Mirror
Scrooge’s journey in A Christmas Carol is more than a redemption story—it’s a mirror, reflecting back the ways we live our own lives. Dickens didn’t write Scrooge as just a grumpy old miser to warm our hearts during the holidays. He created a character who challenges us to confront difficult questions: Where am I shutting people out? Where have I stopped showing others—or even myself—that we matter?
At first glance, it’s easy to see A Christmas Carol as a charming holiday tale—a lonely man finds the spirit of Christmas and transforms his life. But beneath the cozy surface lies a much deeper message. It’s a psychological exploration of what happens when we let disconnection, indifference, and isolation take over—and what it takes to find our way back to what truly matters.
Pre-Transformation Scrooge
Before his famous redemption, Ebenezer Scrooge isn’t just a miser—he’s a case study in disconnection. He was someone who had checked out emotionally.
As Adam Grant might frame it:
“Scrooge wasn’t just hoarding money; he was hoarding himself. He had stopped believing that relationships, kindness, or connection held any value. Over time, he became a prisoner of his own indifference.”
Mark Manson, on the other hand, would probably call him out a little more bluntly:
“Scrooge’s motto was basically, ‘Screw people. I’ve got my money, my solitude, and zero emotional baggage. Why complicate things?’ Here’s the twist: that strategy doesn’t make him happy—it makes him miserable. And spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well.”
Here is the key lesson: Scrooge didn’t just reject kindness and connection—he rejected the idea that they had any value. He built a life around self-preservation, and it left him completely isolated.
Scrooge didn’t wake up one day and decide to become cold and indifferent. It happened slowly, the way it does for so many of us. Life throws curveballs—loss, disappointment, stress—and we start to retreat. We stop investing in relationships. We get cynical, maybe even a little selfish. And before we know it, we’re living in a self-imposed bubble, convinced that we don’t matter—or worse, that no one else does.
What Does Scrooge’s Isolation Reveal About Us?
The brilliance of Dickens’ story is that Scrooge isn’t as far removed from us as we might like to think. Sure, most of us aren’t hoarding gold in a dark, lonely mansion—but what about the modern-day ways we disconnect?
- Focusing on Work Over People: How often do we pour all our energy into career goals, thinking that success will bring us fulfillment, only to realize it’s left our relationships in the dust?
- Letting Cynicism Take Over: Scrooge’s “Bah, humbug!” attitude wasn’t just about Christmas—it was about people. He assumed the worst in everyone. Cynicism can be a shield, but it’s also a prison. We often use it when we’re too afraid to hope or care.
- Neglecting Connection: Over time, Scrooge’s isolation became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He stopped reaching out, and people stopped trying to reach him. When we neglect our relationships, we cut ourselves off from the very thing that gives life meaning.
The Cost of Disconnection
Here’s where Scrooge’s story becomes a mirror. When we cut ourselves off from others—whether through busyness, cynicism, or fear—we don’t just lose out on relationships. We start losing sight of our own value, too. If Scrooge teaches us anything, it’s this: disconnection doesn’t just make life lonely; it makes it meaningless.
“When we disconnect—from others, from joy, from purpose—we start to lose sight of our own value. And when we don’t see our own worth, it’s almost impossible to recognize it in others.”
John R. Miles
The result? A cycle of loneliness and indifference. We convince ourselves that nothing matters, and we stop trying. But deep down, that’s not what we want. Like Scrooge, what we really crave is connection, belonging, and purpose.
The Wake-Up Call
But here’s the good news: Scrooge’s story is one of redemption. His life is a mirror that shows us what’s possible when we choose to reconnect—with ourselves, with others, and with the belief that we matter.
Scrooge’s wake-up call comes in the form of three ghosts—past, present, and future—all forcing him to confront what he’s lost, what he’s missing, and what he still stands to lose. But for the rest of us, the wake-up call might look different. Maybe a strained relationship reminds us we need to show up more. Maybe it’s a moment of loneliness that nudges us to reach out. Or maybe it’s a story like A Christmas Carol that challenges us to ask:
“What parts of myself am I holding back? And who might need me to show them they matter?”
Scrooge’s story isn’t just his—it’s ours. The question is, are we willing to confront it?
Next, we’ll follow the Ghosts of Christmas as they guide Scrooge—and us—back to the spirit of mattering. Because the truth is, no matter how far we’ve drifted, it’s never too late to choose connection over isolation.
The Ghosts of Mattering
In A Christmas Carol, the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come aren’t just spirits—they’re mirrors, each reflecting a lesson about what it means to matter. Through these supernatural encounters, Scrooge is forced to confront how his actions—or inactions—have shaped his life and the lives of those around him. Let’s break them down.
Ghost of Christmas Past: The Loss of Mattering
The first spirit, radiant and otherworldly, brought Scrooge face-to-face with the memories of his past. In these visions, he saw the lonely child he once was, left behind in a cold schoolroom while others celebrated with family and friends. This early neglect began to explain the fortress he had built around his heart, a defense mechanism against the pain of feeling forgotten.
But the spirit didn’t stop there. Scrooge was guided through moments of warmth and joy that had once defined his life: the tender affection of his sister Fan, the jubilant festivities hosted by his first employer, Mr. Fezziwig, and even the spark of love he once shared with his fiancée. These glimpses were reminders of a time when Scrooge had connections, hope, and purpose.
Yet, intertwined with these memories were the choices that led to his isolation. Scrooge’s relentless focus on wealth—a fixation born of fear and ambition—had driven a wedge between him and his fiancée, ultimately causing her to walk away from their shared future.
When we stop engaging with our past, we stop learning from it. And when we stop learning, we lose sight of how much we still matter.
For Scrooge, these visits weren’t just painful reminders of what he had lost—they were an invitation to reflect on how unresolved pain and regret had shaped his present. His childhood neglect made him feel insignificant, and instead of seeking connection, he sought control. His ambition became his armor, but it also became his prison.
And isn’t that true for so many of us? When we’re hurt or feel undervalued, it’s easy to build walls instead of bridges. But as Scrooge’s journey shows, those walls don’t protect us—they isolate us.
The Ghost of Christmas Past teaches a profound lesson:
Our past shapes us, but it doesn’t have to define us. By revisiting the moments that made us feel unseen—or the choices we regret—we have the chance to reclaim our purpose and reconnect with what truly matters.
As Scrooge begins to confront his own story, he starts to see a way forward. But the real challenge lies in the present—where the choices to see and be seen still await. Let’s turn to the Ghost of Christmas Present to explore how Scrooge begins to understand the power of truly seeing others.
“Unresolved pain or regret can make us withdraw, convincing us that we’re safer on our own. But that withdrawal doesn’t protect us; it isolates us.”
John R. Miles
Ghost of Christmas Present: Seeing Others
The second spirit was a vibrant and towering figure, embodying the generosity, joy, and warmth of the holiday season. With a commanding yet compassionate presence, it transported Scrooge to scenes that revealed the richness of connection and the quiet heroism of resilience.
First, Scrooge found himself in the humble home of the Cratchit family. Despite their modest Christmas meal and Tiny Tim’s frail condition, the room was filled with love and gratitude. Tiny Tim, though physically weak, radiated hope and optimism. His courage and unwavering gratitude left an indelible mark on Scrooge, challenging his belief that wealth was the only measure of a life well-lived.
The spirit then whisked Scrooge to his nephew Fred’s home, where laughter and warmth flowed freely. Fred’s joy and generosity stood in stark contrast to Scrooge’s own cold and empty existence. These scenes of celebration and connection revealed the richness that comes from prioritizing people over possessions.
The Cratchits don’t need much to feel like they matter. They’ve got each other. Meanwhile, Scrooge is sitting on a mountain of gold like a dragon, and he’s still miserable. Connection trumps comfort every time.
But the journey wasn’t all light and cheer. Emerging from beneath the spirit’s robe were two spectral children: Ignorance and Want. Their haunting presence embodied the consequences of societal neglect and indifference, serving as a stark warning to Scrooge. These figures weren’t just symbols of a failing society—they were reflections of the human cost of apathy, a cost Scrooge had contributed to through his own self-centeredness.
The Lesson of the Ghost of Christmas Present
This spirit’s visit forced Scrooge to confront a critical truth: mattering isn’t just about feeling seen—it’s about seeing others. The Cratchits’ resilience and Fred’s generosity showed Scrooge the profound power of connection and gratitude. The spectral children, Ignorance and Want, revealed the danger of turning a blind eye to the struggles of others.
In our own lives, how often do we stop to truly see the people around us? How often do we notice their joys, struggles, and humanity? The Ghost of Christmas Present reminds us that paying attention is an act of care. When we take the time to see others, we not only validate their worth but also reconnect with our own.
For Scrooge, this lesson was a turning point. But the final ghost—the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come—would deliver the most profound and unsettling challenge yet: to face the ultimate consequences of a life lived without connection, compassion, or purpose. Let’s explore what this final encounter reveals.
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: The Fear of Irrelevance
The final spirit, cloaked in shadows and silence, was a stark departure from the vibrant presence of the Ghost of Christmas Present. Its haunting stillness carried a gravity that words could not match. With an outstretched hand, the ghost revealed the grim future awaiting Scrooge if he failed to change.
In these chilling visions, Scrooge was confronted with the aftermath of his death. There was no mourning, no sorrow—only relief and indifference. He saw his name on a cold, unmarked grave, the ultimate symbol of a life lived without connection or legacy. The people who once knew him regarded his passing with apathy, some even with satisfaction, as though his absence was a blessing rather than a loss.
But the most harrowing vision came when the spirit returned him to the Cratchit household. This time, there was no laughter or hope. The family was shrouded in grief, mourning the death of Tiny Tim—a loss that could have been prevented. Scrooge was forced to confront the weight of his indifference, realizing that his refusal to care had consequences far beyond his own isolation.
“The future reminds us that our impact is defined not by what we have, but by how we make others feel.”
John R. Miles
This ghost’s silence left no room for debate or denial. It exposed the raw truth: Scrooge’s choices had not only robbed him of joy and connection but had caused harm to those who depended on his humanity.
The Universal Fear of Irrelevance
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come taps into a fear that is deeply universal: the fear of leaving no legacy, of dying without having made a difference. For Scrooge, the unmarked grave and Tiny Tim’s preventable death were devastating revelations, forcing him to see how his life—or lack of engagement in it—had shaped the lives of others.
How many of us share that same anxiety? The longing to matter, to leave behind something meaningful, isn’t just a holiday sentiment—it’s a driving force of human existence. Yet, like Scrooge, we can become so consumed by self-preservation, cynicism, or fear that we neglect to create the connections and acts of kindness that truly define our legacy.
The Turning Point
Scrooge’s encounter with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come was his breaking point. The unbearable weight of these visions shattered the walls he had built around himself. He finally understood that his indifference to others didn’t protect him—it isolated him. And worse, it left behind a legacy of harm, not healing.
But here’s the powerful takeaway: the ghost didn’t show Scrooge an inevitable future—it showed him a potential one. The silence of this spirit wasn’t finality; it was a challenge. The future wasn’t set in stone, but it demanded action.
For Scrooge—and for us—the question is clear: What choices will you make today to change the legacy you leave behind? Will you continue down a path of indifference, or will you choose connection, compassion, and purpose?
The lesson of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is that it’s never too late to change the narrative. Scrooge seized that chance, transforming his life and the lives of those around him. The same opportunity is available to all of us—if we’re brave enough to take it.
Let’s dive into how Scrooge’s transformation reminds us that mattering isn’t just about reflection—it’s about the power of our choices.
The Transformation: Why Mattering Is a Choice
Ebenezer Scrooge’s transformation wasn’t about finding a quick fix or having a magical epiphany that erased years of bitterness. It was about making a choice—a deliberate, sometimes uncomfortable choice—to believe that he mattered, that others mattered, and that how he showed up in the world could make a difference.
By the time the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come left him, Scrooge was faced with a stark reality: his future was bleak, but it wasn’t set in stone. The life he had been living—a life of isolation, greed, and indifference—had been his choice all along. And now, for the first time, he saw an alternative.
The Small Steps Toward Change
What makes Scrooge’s transformation so powerful is that it wasn’t grand or theatrical—it was rooted in small, human moments. He didn’t wake up on Christmas morning and suddenly become a saint. He woke up and made one decision, then another, and another. He chose to act differently.
He started by reconnecting with the people he had pushed away. Scrooge didn’t try to erase the past—he couldn’t—but he chose to engage with the present. He reached out to his nephew Fred, acknowledging the warmth and generosity he had dismissed for so long. He went to the Cratchit family, offering support not out of pity, but out of a genuine desire to make their lives better.
These weren’t just acts of generosity—they were acts of humility. They required Scrooge to let go of his ego, his cynicism, and his fear of rejection.
Why Showing Others They Matter Changes Everything
As Scrooge began to show others that they mattered, something unexpected happened: he rediscovered his own sense of worth. By giving Tiny Tim a chance to thrive, by sharing in Fred’s joy, by stepping out of his isolated comfort zone, Scrooge found purpose.
Mattering isn’t a one-way street. When we remind others of their value, we inevitably remind ourselves of our own. Scrooge learned this firsthand: the more he invested in the lives of others, the richer his own life became—not financially, but emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.
The Courage to Matter
Scrooge’s transformation also highlights something that’s easy to overlook: mattering takes courage. It’s not just about showing up for others—it’s about allowing yourself to be seen, to be vulnerable, and to care in a way that feels risky.
For years, Scrooge avoided this risk by retreating into his wealth and solitude. But in the end, that strategy didn’t protect him—it imprisoned him. His decision to embrace connection wasn’t just an act of redemption; it was an act of liberation.
The Takeaway
Scrooge’s story is a reminder that mattering isn’t something that happens to us—it’s something we create. It’s a choice we make every day, in the way we treat others, in the way we show up, and in the way we allow ourselves to connect.
And the most profound part? It’s never too late to choose differently. Scrooge spent most of his life convinced that he didn’t matter, that others didn’t matter, and that life was better lived behind walls. But in one extraordinary night, he saw the truth:
Mattering is a choice. And choosing it transforms everything.
As we reflect on Scrooge’s journey, the question becomes: How will you choose to matter today? Will you step out of your comfort zone, connect with others, and embrace the courage it takes to make an impact?
Let’s move forward and explore how we can bring these lessons into our own lives.
Actionable Takeaways: How to Nurture the Spirit of Mattering
Scrooge’s transformation wasn’t just a feel-good holiday tale—it was a roadmap for how we can reclaim mattering in our own lives. His journey teaches us that mattering isn’t built on grand gestures or monumental achievements. It’s created through simple, intentional actions that prioritize connection and purpose. Here’s how you can start:
- See Others
The first step in nurturing mattering is acknowledging the people around you. Too often, we go through life without truly seeing others—their struggles, their joys, or their contributions.
- What to Do: Take a moment to tell someone what you appreciate about them. Be specific. Instead of a generic “thanks,” say, “I really admire how patient you were in that meeting,” or “Your advice last week made a huge difference for me.”
- Ask Yourself: Who in your world might need to feel seen today? Is it a coworker who’s been working quietly behind the scenes? A friend who’s been distant? A family member you’ve taken for granted?
When you take the time to see others, you remind them—and yourself—that they matter.
2. Create Meaning Through Connection
Scrooge learned that the simplest acts of connection are often the most transformative. Sharing a meal, offering kindness, or lending a helping hand doesn’t just improve someone else’s life—it reminds you of the joy that comes from being part of something bigger.
- What to Do: Look for small, meaningful ways to connect. Invite someone for coffee, write a heartfelt note, or offer support to someone who’s struggling. These actions don’t have to be grand—they just have to be intentional.
- Remember: It’s not about fixing someone else’s problems. It’s about showing up and being present. The Cratchits didn’t need a feast to feel joy; they needed each other.
Every act of kindness you give is also an investment in your own sense of purpose and belonging.
3. Reclaim Your Purpose
Mattering isn’t just about others—it’s also about recognizing your own value and the impact you want to leave behind. Scrooge found this when he chose to help Tiny Tim. It wasn’t just a gift to the Cratchits—it was a way for Scrooge to reconnect with his purpose.
- What to Do: Take a moment to reflect on the legacy you want to create. Ask yourself:
- What do I want people to remember about me?
- What small steps can I take today to align my actions with that vision?
- Start Small: Purpose doesn’t have to mean changing the world overnight. It can be as simple as mentoring someone, volunteering in your community, or even just showing up for the people in your life with intention.
Reclaiming purpose is about aligning your daily choices with what truly matters to you—and the impact you want to leave behind.
A Final Thought
Mattering isn’t something that just happens—it’s something we cultivate. By intentionally seeing others, creating meaningful connections, and aligning with purpose, we not only transform our relationships but also enrich our own lives.
So here’s your challenge: Who will you see today? How will you connect? And what small step can you take toward reclaiming your purpose? Start with one action, and watch how it changes not just someone else’s life—but your own.
Closing Challenge: What Would the Ghosts Say About You?
As we wrap up, I want to leave you with this question:
If the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come showed up at your door tonight, what would they reveal?
Would the Ghost of Christmas Past show you moments where you turned away from connection, buried your purpose, or let fear guide your decisions? Would the Ghost of Christmas Present highlight opportunities you’ve missed to see others, to express gratitude, or to connect meaningfully? And what about the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come—would its vision be one of fulfillment and impact, or of regret and loneliness?
Here’s the good news: Scrooge’s story reminds us that the future isn’t set in stone. It’s never too late to change the narrative. The choices we make—starting right now—can transform not only how we live today but the legacy we leave behind.
Your challenge is simple but profound:
Take one action today to rewrite your story.
- Reach out to someone you’ve been distant from.
- Offer a moment of kindness to someone who might need it.
- Reflect on what truly matters to you and take one small step to align your life with that purpose.
The ghosts won’t be visiting you tonight, but you can act as your own guide. Look at your past, engage with your present, and envision the future you want to create.
Mattering isn’t a luxury—it’s a choice. And that choice begins now.
Let’s make it count.
